Priority Check

When the R35 Nissan GT-R first came out back in 2008 it was so outlandishly fast that just about everyone, apart from the most hardcore JDM fanboys, began scrutinizing the car to its absolute core.

Nissan's Godzilla [photo cred: torquenews.com]

First, Porsche accused them of running racing slicks instead of OEM tires, followed shortly by the news that the launch control system would void your warranty and blowup your gearbox. Well, it turned out they weren't running slicks, and by mid-2009 they had remedied the launch control issues. By now, the critics just started calling it ugly—which it is—but that doesn't mean it's slow; and although most people have given up and accepted the fact that the GT-R is just ridiculously fast, there are still some holdouts, and they've got quite the argument: 

The GT-R's numerous computer-controlled performance systems take all of the fun out of driving.

A pretty profound criticism coming from a group of people who've never set foot in a GT-R.

(Forget for now that the introduction of new technologies into automobiles and their effects on the driving experience is a whole other topic to get into . . . more on that later)

All bench racing aside, Nissan simply blew everyone's mind with its mildly affordable tech-savvy super car. 

Between that and the new all-electric Leaf, Nissan has put itself at the forefront of automotive technology, bested only by the likes of Tesla and Fisker. 

A Fisker Karma with a roof covered in solar panels—the future is now and looks so cool.

So what's next for Nissan?

Bring back the 240sx?

Perhaps use its status as a renowned global auto manufacturer to develop– oh, I don't know, an electric sports car that could give a Tesla Roadster a run for its money, yet cost 30% less?

Or even better, use the lessons learned building the R35 GT-R and Leaf to build an updated version of the ultra-rare and ultra-insane R390 road car and chase down Porsche's new 918 Spyder?

One of Nissan's 2 street legal R390 road cars [photo cred: istenbizony.hu]

Nope. 

Nissan's CEO Carlos Ghosn had something different in mind . . . 

And now, we don't get a new R390, 370Z EV, or even a 240SX—we get this:

The Juke-R [photo cred: the-car-guide.net]

The 100% useless Juke-R hyper-crossover . . .

Nissan, you've proven you're capable of making cars go fast, now please use your powers for good, and stop wasting everyone's time with this pointless engineering exercise. Build something that will truly get people excited about the brand and have Porsche begging for mercy. Something with sex appeal, that isn't just on par with modern super cars, but blows them out of the water. 

I really hope that the oil sheikhs Nissan is building these monstrosities for have invested millions into Nissan, because if not, I truly do not understand this car's existence.

In any case, it's certainly an interesting way to run a car company. Perhaps if Pontiac had built their concept Aztek-R their brand might still be around today . . .

The Pontiac Aztek-R concept took drivetrain and suspension components from the 638hp supercharged Corvette ZR-1 and shoehorned them into the Aztek's chassis.

The Aztek-R is only slightly completely fictional, yet exactly as absurd as the Juke-R, with the exception being that you could totally camp in it:

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Alphabet Soup

NASA HPDE in an SVT.

It has always been so easy for me to find an excuse not to do a weekend-long track event. 

I don't have the time.

I don't have the money.

My tires will disintegrate. 

I'll fry my brakes.

My car is 15 years old, has 123,000 miles, and I don't have a trailer . . .

Well, I finally ran out of excuses (a.k.a. grew a pair) and I have to say, it was absolutely stellar. 

When NASA (that's National Auto Sport Association—Neil deGrasse Tyson was not involved unfortunately) holds an event like this, it's not just novices and their instructors on the track all weekend, the big boys come out to race—for real. The cars here are totally insane.

Art.

Don't know much about this car besides DO WANT.

This alleged 900-horsepower twin-turbo Mustang was utterly deafening at WOT and unbelievably fast. 

And since this particular event was held at an uber-exclusive country club that, on any other day, would be totally private, there were some incredible machines amongst the paddocks.

Like what you see? You can rent each and every one of them at the Autobahn. Plus the garage in the background is chock-full of everything from Porsche race cars, to classic Ferraris, to the BMW 1 Series M, and Audi R8. 

It seems like nothing is off limits at these events...

Slicks so sticky they levitate boulders, strut tower braces with integrated breather filters, and Vettes with front wings.

Or how about this absolutely insane carbon fiber wide body Z4 with a dog box? 

Drivers in HPDE (high performance driving education/event) are working their way up a classing system consisting of 4 different skill levels—once you pass the fourth you're ready for time trials. All groups in HPDE have classroom sessions in-between their 20-minute run groups, and beginners will always run with an instructor. When you add it all up, the combination makes for an unbeatable learning environment.

Speaking of learning environments, this was the classroom at the Autobahn.

If you're a beginner you will be surprised how well your car can perform stock, and by the end of the weekend you will want to completely rearrange—or maybe even delete—your totally fiscally irresponsible car-parts wish list.(some tires and brake pads that will survive an entire weekend of track driving are highly recommended though)


By the end of the weekend I felt like I was hauling. I had passed nearly every driver in my group including several M3s, a supercharged Roush Mustang, and a couple C6 Corvettes. I was averaging over 70 mph around the track and feeling real good. At one point a couple of the Vette owners came over to check out the treadwear rating on my tires expecting to see R-comps, and saying, "you're really cookin' out there!" That was a pretty big ego boost for me considering I was going easy on my brakes and shifting 1000 rpm short of redline (4-year-old Hawk HPS pads, 123,000 mile motor, and no trailer, remember?). Alas, they were just the novices. Compare my times to those of the real race drivers, and I'm right around the slow end of the spec Miatas—Bollocks.

Reading about it not doin' it for you? Watch the video here.

There are so many things to love about a weekend at the track.

The sounds of open-header muscle cars, the smell of 103 octane, the simple metal creases that all come together to form the most gorgeous machinery you'll never be able to afford, and some of the nicest people you'll ever meet. They'll offer you their spare parts and tools, or a helping hand to get you back out on the track. And should you ever run out of elbow grease, they'll be there to give you a ride back to your hotel. The friendliness and camaraderie here is what makes events like this such a treat. So please don't be a freeloading mooch who only brought a change of underwear. Remember to be damn grateful when someone lets you borrow their stuff, and always return the favor! 

NASA provided dinner Saturday night. Salad, green beans,
bread, casserole, cookies and brownies—hell yes.

A fellow racer toasted the wheel bearing on his
 Miata, but with our powers combined (and a loaned
spare wheel bearing) he was back on track the
next day!

All in all, it was a fantastic weekend. Even though I was averaging less than 9 mpg at the track and I had to spend 5 hours detailing all of the bug guts, brake dust, and rubber scuffs from flying tire chunks off my car, it was absolutely, 100%, totally worth it.

Now go do it. You won't regret it.

Always flog responsibly — Get a good night's sleep

Special thanks to my buddy Mike G. who I met through the MSU Racing Club. He told me about the event and was kind/crazy enough to be my instructor for the whole weekend — Thanks Mike!

Mike in his Lancer (one of his many, many race cars)

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